Where can one go to hear the term predatory lending result in one hundred belly laughs?

Shylock's Revenge. I knew Merchant of Venice is currently running at the Orlando Shakespeare Theater and correctly assumed yesterday's mock trial was a spinoff event. From the Orlando Weekly's posted description:

Using the actors from their current production of Merchant, with the assistance of the Bard’s Board Barristers, Shylock (Joe Vincent) and Antonio (Steven Patterson) will square off with actual advocates in front of actual judges to determine liability on their bond, Sunshine State style.

An improv courtroom comedy by the local Shakespearians? I'm in! Even if it turned out to be an epic fail, which seemed likely, I put a $10 donation on its being hilarious nonetheless.

Ever hear the saying you've got your pound of flesh? It's from The Merchant of Venice, a play about Shylock, a Jewish moneylender, and Antonio, a merchant. After harassing the Jew in a number of ways, Antonio finds he needs a loan so his friend can afford to marry a rich girl. Shylock agrees to loan Antonio 3,000 ducats interest free, but in the event of default the price would be a pound of the merchant's flesh. Antonio signed the contract, and when he defaulted, didn't want to part with his precious flesh. Good Jew that he was, Shylock took Antonio to court, where his bloodlust worked against him and he lost all his goods and assets to Antonio.

So, naturally, going to the old courthouse in the History Center to see Shylock appeal his verdict seemed like a fun idea. I was unaware the actors were only in the room to lend a little color and fancy to a performance by some of Orlando's higher-minded legal professionals. The publicity was misleading, failing to mention the actors weren't the ones putting on the show. The entire audience — save a light peppering of young, jeans-clad theater fans — was made of paralegals, Barry Law students and professors, judges, and lawyers — some of whom you may have seen on billboards and local commercials.

In-jokes for an in-crowd I felt very much outside of included haggling over whether a pound of flesh can be safely removed from a 170-pound man and the precise definition of a jot. Broader references to the Economic Crisis were made throughout, with squabbling over toxic assets and whether Shylock was a predatory lender. The booming laughter felt slightly tainted by the very real nervousness of those with homes too large, cars too fast, suits too luxe, over half their student loan debt yet to pay off, and tanking portfolios.

John Hamilton, shareholder at Foley and Lardner, excitedly advocated for Shylock declaring, "I've never had a case like this before! I want to win one." Kimberly Ashby, shareholder at Akerman, Senterfitt was thrilled and shrilled her arguments for Antonio, energetically pulling printouts from a large whiteboard. Lawyers are really only good speakers on television, and although these two spoke much too fast and didn't pause during the laughter that drowned them out, they were clearly having the most fun they'd had all month.

Judges C. Alan Lawson and Jay P. Cohen of the Fifth District Court of Appeal, and Judge Donna McIntosh of the 18th Judicial Circuit were relatively subdued and quiet, until verdict. The other two "judges" are professors of law at Barry University, Frederick Jonassen and Taylor Simpson-Wood. I prefer to call her Sassy Simpson-Wood, thanks to her questioning of Shylock's counsel. When Hamilton skirted the question, citing Portia's reference to three Venetian laws, Sassy Simpson-Wood said "Yes, well I only care about the one I asked you about." Snap!

Of course the 400-year-old verdict was overturned, and Shylock's goods and assets returned, without Antonio having to give up a pound of his flesh. After a couple more jokes about the failure of the regulatory system and the zero value of a pound of flesh as collateral, court was adjourned. And not a moment too soon. The bad jokes were wearing thin and boredom was setting in.

But it was refreshing to see a bunch of arts-loving lawyers run with a good idea and get together to sponsor an event to benefit the Shakespeare Theater, even if it was really only entertaining to the lawyers themselves.