My favorite part of watching the advance screening of The Day the Earth Stood Still tonight was the Star Trek trailer.

That said, I liked the original 1951 version directed by Robert Wise and written by Edmund H. North.

Hot hot hot!!! Is that King Kong back there moving worlds over his jealousy of the GORT?

I was excited to see the remake even despite Keanu Reeves starring as alien ambassador Klaatu. I was delighted to go to my local not-quite-IMAX screen despite Neo. And I can dig an upgrade from the cold war themes including fear of atomic violence to climate change and the stewardship of the Earth.

Snooooooore.

The effects were decent, though I wouldn't agree with their award-nominated status. Specifically, the swarms of insectobots devouring everything in their path worked much better on screen than I'd anticipated. Unfortunately, all the effects seem wasted on a plot so thin.

Ok, ok, I know the plot is basically the same as the original, but a message so simple, respect life, only gets squashed by overdone visual effects, and the tepid acting and lack of character development don't help either. Yeah, yeah, Jaden Smith, a little Connelly, who cares?

And whatever happened to the line Klaatu barada nikto, a sci-fi line so famous it's been used, referenced, or parodied in scores of books, movies, songs, tv shows, and comics? Where the hell was it? Oh that's right, no need for a safe word, the GORT is... nanobugs. Of course. Nanotechnology: the catch-all device for lame people.

An earlier conception of the GORT would have had him four-legged-ish coming upright to zap things.

Speaking of the GORT, I realize almost all science fiction builds on other science fiction, with interrelated fantasy technologies, futures, beings, etc. The Cylon Raiders and Centurions of Battlestar Galactica are simple, elegant, and not at all original. Look at the original movie's poster up top if you don't believe me. Cybermen ring a bell? I feel like the new GORT is a cross between the Cylon copy of itself and an OSCAR. Which this film will obviously never be mentioned in relation to again. I can't imagine paying to see this.

The thing I fear most about this film? On its release tomorrow, 12.12.08, the Deep Space Communications Network in Cape Canaveral will transmit the film to Alpha Centauri. Please no. Can we send 2001: A Space Odyssey instead? Ok, don't want to let the aliens in on Kubrick? Fine. Please send them the ORIGINAL The Day the Earth Stood Still.

Anything but this flick. Anything for publicity, and you couldn't stop at climate change. Why do we always make ourselves look like total asses?

Independence Day anyone? Or any other movie with robots or flying things or aliens. Or a Smith.